DP Thailand Blog

Russian New Year, by James Szeles

This gig was the first time I had ever performed my show on a New Year’s Eve. Some time ago now, but still etched in horror in my memory. It was a lesson taught to me about control of my show, a lesson from which I have learned much and I will never forget.

We arrived at the swanky hotel in down town San Francisco, my wife and I eagerly looking forward to the whole evening. We found the big ballroom where all of the festivities where to take place. Nothing out of the ordinary here, your usual set up with many round tables festively attired, waiters running around setting up, the guests dribbling in wearing their finery and sipping pre dinner cocktails to the hum of some indistinguishable tune in the background.

As we started to set up, my wife remarked that there were no bottles of wine on the tables as is the usually the norm for most of these affairs. I looked across the room and saw that she was right.  Maybe they’re putting them out last I quipped.  Moments later my client who was responsible for this whole affair came up to us with another woman.  We exchanged pleasantries and then he said “I would like you to meet Tasha. She will be your interpreter for the evening.” Interpreter? I thought. No one speaks English?  Suddenly I was overcome with a sense of uneasiness which was heightened by the look of mis belief I saw in my wife’s face as I followed her gaze across the room where I saw what she was seeing.  No bottles of wine on these tables. No sir! These people are Russian – hardy people who drink hard liquor. Bring on the Vodka and the Brandy! Three bottles of each for every table! Yes, the waiters were putting out bottles all right, brandy and vodka bottles with small glasses! The uneasiness I felt began to deepen when I was told that I would go on after Father Christmas had given out the gifts and a traditional folk dance had been enjoyed by all the merry-makers – 12.30am! Who in their right minds wants to watch a show when the fog horns are blasting, the balloons are falling and popping and everyone is kissing and yelling and welcoming in the New Year? It’s their dime was my thought, got to keep the client happy.

Sure enough, the appointed time came and I started the show. Amid screams and whoops of delight in some foreign tongue I managed to get five drunken volunteers – all male – on stage.  They all took a seat and three of them nodded off right away – not from any of my skills as a hypnotist, rather from the effects of too much booze! The other two, after much digging and elbowing each other got into a brawl and were dragged off  the stage by a couple of drunken comrades. What else I thought? Through Tasha, my interpreter, I thanked everyone for trying and wished them a Happy New Year, collected my fee, packed up and left.

By James Szeles, for Hypnostage Magazine

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